Makingdecisions is something that we all do. It’s the most basic type of progress aperson can make. This morning, I woke up and decided to wear a particular pairof pants. With something as simple as that, I augment my being. I am a beingwearing pants as opposed to one which was so recently without them. Also, Iwon’t be referred to the campus psychiatrist later in the day. These rotedecisions aren’t difficult, because they seem the necessary thing to do. Wedon’t pay attention to them. It’s the ones we pay attention to that tend togive us trouble.                  Everytime a decision is made, a person has committed to something. This is difficultfor a lot of people, because not only are you saying “This, not this;” you’resaying “This, not this and everything that comes after it.” We’re naturally afraid of losingpossibilities. That’s the way most people think. A lot of times we’re afraid tomake a choice because we don’t know exactly what the outcomes will be. If youput every decision in a context this legitimate, it only makes sense that yourgirlfriend spends three hours in the mall trying on jeans while you standthere, holding her purse, pretending to be interested in the men’s section fora while before wandering over to housewares and wondering if that fruit juiceris actually worth $30. It’s this kind of thinking that gets your girlfriend onepair of jeans per hour and you a useless fruit juicer. It’s true, but that’snot all there is to it.There’s the gravity of thesituation as well. Not to belabor an analogy, but I’m about to; buying clothesis not that big a deal for men, generally. If it feels ok, we like the color, anddecide it’s better than being naked, we’ll wear it. Women have curves andangles to consider and things to hide and so many different cuts of incongruousclothing that finding a decent pair of jeans is next to impossible. That, andwomen tend to care more about how they look. They assign more of a value to thesituation, and will therefore consider it more fully. Will I be able to layerthis tank under the cute purple frilly whatever-it-is? Does it look good withthe shoes and jacket? What sort of things will I be able to wear this with? DoI have shoes for this? Because the value is assigned to the decision, theanswer is more than that of the typical male, which is simply “Pants good.”But what decisions are worthvaluing? This is where people come into conflict. If I’m shopping for clotheswith my girlfriend, I demand she give me a dollar to go to the arcade because Idon’t appreciate the value she assigns to pants. I decided to stop pretendingthat I can distinguish between jeans because frankly, I can’t. I’m unable tostare at clearance rack shorts for an hour and feign interest in whatever denimshe’s picking out. I made the choice to preserve my sanity by shootingimaginary men in a large box rather than foster resentment towards her. It wasan important decision and a difficult one, because on the one hand I’m a “goodboyfriend” by typecasting myself as “Man Staring at Flannel Shirts #1” for therest of my natural life, and on the other I create a potentially unsupportiveenvironment but preserve my sense of self, which is to say, I don’t picturemyself gazing longingly at cardigans for extended periods of time. Were mygirlfriend less understanding, this would have started a fight.  She knew where I was coming from andgave me a dollar. We came up with a better scenario for the both of us.True, it’s a little thing likejeans, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t apply the same reasoning to largerissues. Everyone is afraid of losing possibility by making a decision, but ifsomeone has made a decision, they’ve got a reason for choosing. If they’veassigned a lot of value to their decision, the process to come to it has beenlong and involved. Simply to say “They’re wrong,” doesn’t help anyone exceptthe petty. When you encounter someone who’s made a different decision that you,realize that they have their reasons. If you’re in conflict over somethinglarger than jeans, there’s no reason not to dialogue. Stop the pettiness beforeit starts. Understand.